Death to jerk seasoning
It would appear that I was set up by my Co worker and ex Co worker this weekend, after attending a cool ass bbq, which saw one guy drink 40 beers by himself and was still standing an remarkable feat in my eyes, even if it was just weak ass American bud-light beer. Anyway four grills a plethora of meat and one grille master that I swear was lining his meat with velvet….pause! Lining his grille with velvet, simply put the chicken (white meat) was juicy and the fall off the bones barely had to chew ribs, ridiculous!
Now after a heated 2hr conversation that went nowhere about religion, started quite innocently when I refused the dap a “God is good” comment over the way the lamb cooked on the grill. I didn’t see “God” make any BBQ, I saw a human man put the charcoal in light it, cook the meat to perfection then serve it. I’m not first bumping that bullshit. So politely I said
Nah bruh! Atheist don’t get down like that!
It was at this point, I became a unicorn. A black atheist? They make your kind? There was no winning this with one cat from Kentucky the other Naw’lons. Anyway that’s not the story. At the end of the night too go plates were offered. Now all day I was ducking the jerk chicken ribs and chicken. I don’t eat that shit, I like my food seasoned well to enhance the flavor not laced with hot sauce. I don’t care how many you’re not a real Island nigga jokes you got. I don’t eat that shit. And here’s why
Food should not burn twice!
If you can’t figure that shit out, kill yourself!! So I asked my female coworker to fix my plate as I was still in discussions as to why logic trumps biblical fantasy. So fast forward to last night I unwrapped my too go plate put the ribs/chicken in the cancer oven aka de microwave, warm that up then sit down to munch. Why oh why is every piece of meat laced in that jerk seasoning shit? Now it’s 11pm, I got two choices go hungry or get some bread to counter this fire sauce because at this point, my mouth is burning, lips burning, throat fucked up, nose running and I’m sweating. This is not how you’re meant to enjoy a meal. The bread did help, water or any liquid would have made it worst. So I made it through until I woke up this morning. I am now tracking the movements of this digested fireball in my intestines. I can feel this shit making its way to the exit. I said food should not burn twice but this bitch is making its presence felt all the way out. So bottom like here death to rasoul jerk seasoning.
