Grown Women And Facebook Relationship Status

Grown Women and Facebook Relationship Status

I’ve been debating for a while now-years actually- if I should even touch this subject. With the growing trend of social media, it’s almost as if the lines between what needs to be out there for public consumption and what doesn’t have become blurred. Today I want to drop my opinion on relationship status updates on Facebook. I especially want to get into the incessant need by some women and apparently some Charmin toilet paper soft “men”, but more importantly so called, grown women who will bitch, moan, wine hiss, cuss and nag to have the guy they’re dating or married to change his Facebook relationship status. Firstly let me just say this:

If you choose to change your Facebook relationship status, link your pages, put up the cute couple pictures constantly make post declaring your looooove for the person…. Cool, do you!

But for me personally, I just don’t think my relationship status in the grand scheme of things going on in “real life” is that important to Facebook folks. I’m not a celebrity or even a person to be somewhat admired, even though I am awesome, but I just don’t subscribe to this modern day egotistical, narcissistic mentality. I’ve seen waaaaaaay to much drama on Facebook and I myself was almost wrapped up in some silliness couple years ago by someone with an idiotic agenda.

I’ll get back to this later

I don’t even care to change my relationship status on Facebook when in a relationship, as a joke a while back I changed it to “It’s complicated” almost immediately the questions of why’s it complicated? came, really? yo just mind your gawd damn business, even if causal, friendly or coming with malicious intent, mind your damn business. But then again I guess it also matters who you surround yourself with in life even on social media. I have a very non-trusting nature when it comes to people in general, I’ve seen too much shit in this life when it comes to humans to put stock into who is a genuine person at heart and who’s really fake. People can be who they are, do whatever, but here’s something to think about, ponder on a little…. why was that damn Kermit tea sipping meme so popular in the last two years…..people love the damn “tea” don’t they? let that marinate……..

Recently, I’ve noticed some friends, acquaintances and random folks on Facebook…… uhhh “sharing” their relationship moments. One particular amigo has been married for years, I believe over a decade. He and his wife are actually some of my favorite people, know them for eons and relationship wise, they’re a true inspiration to me as I know them personally.

I think I might still be a god-father to one of their kids, been derelict on my duties but that’s another story

That said, maybe I’ve just started noticing or it just has been happening more frequently, but they do the whole couple thing on Facebook and Instagram. They post the couples pics, the love declarations, the family pics, it’s all good. Personally I don’t have a problem with it, but I am sure it knowing my boy it was a respectful mutual agreement and not just a forced or demanded thing.
Another two guys that I’ve noticed doing it are two guys I’ve had online interactions with for over ten years. One is recently married and has what can only be described as a never-ending honeymoon period. It’s actually kind of beautiful to watch them declare to the world their love for each other. Even in the regularity of their post it’s not overbearing forced or a “put on / show out”. I think there is also a long distance separation between them despite the nuptials but the two of them declaring their blac… well beige love is nice. Now there’s another bredda I interact with, talk shit with, get killed on PlayStation, laugh joke on post etc, who once posted a meme that said:

if a man changes his profile pic to one of his woman he’s in trouble

Well I guess he either was in trouble of sorts or just so Atlantic Ocean deeply in love because shortly after that meme, him and his empress increased their online shenanigans of love displays. She’s his reigning week to week #WCW, the man even quote Tony Tuff big tune The First Time I Met You one time; I had to salute him on that one, that was some awesome shit to see.

Now on the flip side of this love declaration, I know plenty folks married, dating, in years long relationships that you don’t see or hear a peep that such a situation exist:
• No relationship status changes
• No post about my Bae, boo or Babydaddy,
• No couple of pictures, no selfies with the man / woman shadow or reflections clearly in the shot.
• No random pictures of each other on their individual pages
They log into Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, Periscope ect and just do their personal thing. I’ve been told over and over this behavior is mega shady and means the person is hiding their true status so they can keep lines of communication open to a potential sidepiece.

Now isn’t that the most ridiculous shit you’ve ever heard?

I cannot stand low self-esteem women. I can’t stand needy, overly emotional woman and I especially cannot stand a woman who is not my mother, telling me what the hell I have to do. Or what makes me a Man!! Let me go back to my personal situation.
Years ago when I was in the shackles of marriage, my then spouse made it a huge deal that her status be changed, name and everything. I preferred to keep my business, sorry my bad… “our business” off the book of face. Now it wasn’t that I was still searching, I mean let’s face it…

a ring brings more attention anyway, these chics out here…. whoa!!

But nope, that was not good enough! There was this ever-present , almost mosquito buzz to change status, to show out, I’d get a constant example of this couple I guess she aspired to be, where in my opinion…. the woman ran her man!! It was clear who was the boss.

what woman makes her man show his perfect teeth at a dinner party to prove a point, what is he a fucking show pony or auction block slave, shit was embarrassing to watch

Anyway so I gave her a choice. I said you can either respect my wishes or go ahead and do it. Before the end of the day it was done: status changed to married, last name changed everything. Only thing not to happen was the page link by marriage. I remained silent on this issue, I didn’t like it; for me there was absolutely no need. But some people feel the need to show out, so I just let it go. Anyway fast forward some years now, shit hits the fan, people get deleted blocked, real life situations start crossing over to online content and accusing memes start getting posted. I’m getting phone calls, emails and IMs asking me “what’s going on?” I’m also getting word some folks are forming opinions. Now, did all the people who reached out to me do so out of loving concern? Or did all the people know the full story of what actually happened? Or have any of these people who formed opinions “do the maths”? Fuck no!!
A few were malicious, instigating lemmi get lil gossip and news to carry folks. Long story short I was placed in a position where I just deactivated my Facebook page for three whole months to let whatever dust settle, before the bullshit escalated. The time off was a welcome changed from being plugged in also.

Now I took the high road on my situation, but I’ve seen relationship spin-outs play out on Facebook with way to much details exposed, the drama is really too much. But like a train wreck let’s be honest, sometimes you can’t look away and sometimes you really feel for a person. One minute they’re happy as pigs in pissy shit, the next their world is collapsing like they’re actually in pissy shit.
Case in point: This chic on my timeline I have no idea who she is I think I added her for being a fellow islander or many from Mafiawars, when it was a thing. She used to post how wonderful life was with her and the boyfriend, then baby-daddy soon to be husband, then it was pictures of the family then just her and the baby, then as quickly as it was bliss, the dude was the worst thing on earth since clubbing baby seals. Even if you’re not paying day-to-day attention the full on dramatics of it was amazing, you get the “friends” who would cheer on this “he aint’ shit girl” stance. Where were these bit…. females when it was bliss?

Another example: a cool nerdy type guy posted his new lady-love for a hot minute, she was an older lady kinda foxy, some would think out of his league, but whatever “miracles” happen in life, suddenly the couple of post stop, then there’s talk or cheating, stolen school sweat shirts, promises broken etc, I mean what the fuck, it’s too much too much.
As a society that spends a lot of time online, even if you are not macco, gipsy or malicious, you will notice some shit from time to time, depending on which type of person you are, either negative shit or positive shit. A lot of people tend to be entertained by the negative, it’s like real life reality TV drama played out in post and pictures. It’s like how people tend to pay attention to the shenanigans of celebrities from A to D-listers. It stands to reason that if you have someone saying she / he has haters, that narcissistic monster is truly alive in them. But back to the point at hand, why is it so important for a women to tell the world not some much the world but her Facebook “fanbase” what the relationship status is? I know men don’t do this bullshit, well not any real men, I mean who the hell cares. If you are an adult of a certain age certain should not even matter anymore especially when it comes to social media, last week a 38-year-old woman told me she blocked and deleted her dude off her instagram for “liking” another woman’s picture, c’mon now! Cooooome the fuck on now! Thirty eight years old, “grown” and still and bothered by that bullshit? Really? First of all why are you even following who your guy is liking on Instagram. I’ve heard woman say shit like he doesn’t like my pictures, but I saw him like that bitch picture, he probably trying to sleep with her next. From liking a picture you get all that lady, really?

Now this is why I like smart women, strong women, women with no self esteem issues, the type of woman that if we’re lying in bed watching a movie and I see Meagan Good on scene and I declare “ummmm Ms Good, she she is” she won’t waste energy flipping out getting all jealous causing a study ruckus, talking about disrespect and blah blah blah, A smart woman knows how to channel that energy right , I don’t have to say what she’d do, grown ladies already know. A funny chic would just get her ummmm on when she sees Idris or whoever onscreen dude she finds attractive, I don’t trip, I don’t give a shit.

Let me wrap this up since it’s getting kind of long. Ladies if the man you’re dating or married too does not have you on his Facebook, twitter, Snapchat, Instagram…. It doesn’t mean shit!!! Does not mean he’s creeping, does not mean he wants to keep you as a well kept secret. Does not mean even if he posts a bunch of shit, you are of lesser value in his world because he doesn’t post one single thing about you. Some of us men and women are just more private, yes some of us spend time on social media platforms and post various things, but will keep certain things private, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with this. Like I said before even if some men / women may have sinister or nefarious reasons for doing so and this has been your previous relationship issue, don’t bring that baggage into the next situation. If your grown, really grown not pretend grown, not grown on certain issues, grown, stop acting like a teenager with a silly puppy love crush, the world does not need to know everything. Sharing is fine, over sharing is if your life utterly and completely revolves around your social media life as if there’s nothing else going in your very real life. There was a post in the HUFF that a lot of people should take heed of.