What is a decent relationship grace period?
What is a decent relationship grace period?
Before I get started. I am definitely not talking about this Relationship Grace Period. This is about that crucial period of time when one relationship ends and another begins. What exactly is a decent relationship grace period? Does such a thing really exist? Should there be a period of time between relationships, before the next one is even entertained? Even a “situationship”? Is there a standard, a break, or alone time that is acceptable? Is it hours, days, weeks, months even years? A time for true closure, self-reflection, learning, improving, discovering true love languages, etc. For example, if a couple was together for over half a decade, breaks up and one partner has another partner within three to six months and claims to be blissfully happy, is that fronting 101? A possible rebound? Or was that person sitting on the sidelines the whole time? Or is the female just a hot crotch, slut puppy, with daddy issues and needs a man in her life constantly? Just not knowing how to be single? Oh wait unbiased and in the spirit of “gender equality“… a man with a need to have his bed warmed with a body?
Someone recently asked me this question and all I had was, I guess it depends on the individual, there’s no set science to how love works. In my opinion, the quicker the recovery is, it can show the lack of realness from the previous relationship. Personally when I “fall in love” and give a woman “the title” and we break up, especially if it’s a heavyweight break up, it takes me a long, long time to recover and even longer to allow someone else to get that close again. I just can’t hop back into another situation, I’ve tried it, but that rebound shit never works. The younger me would just get my dick wet, still, penetrate some panties every now and then with a few willing volunteers for a few months but never commit. That was not really fair to everyone involved, it served more as a distraction from actually dealing with the emotions inside… But even then one of those lucky participants might just work upwards to the title…
But that’s just my humble opinion, different people are obviously wired differently. I’ve watched people jump from relationship to relationship. I’ve seen people entertain other options while in relationships, both men and women, the side situations shit is very real. Even in a marriage where ultimately there’s potentially more to lose with a separation or divorce. Sometimes I look at humans and think, in all our evolution on this planet, all our heightened intelligence. We are some of the most savage primal ass-acting beasts on this planet. When it comes to moral fiber, some of us are seriously lacking. As someone who believes monogamy is a choice and not a natural or normal behavior for humans. Population-wise the evidence exists. It’s more of a social standard or socially acceptable and expected behavior. The truths of this are crystal clear. Just imagine from the dawn of human existence on earth, if there were just one-on-one commitment for life, would there be seven billion plus people on this planet now?
In the end, I guess it comes down to the individual. I have friends and acquaintances who maintain snip, snip, flip the switch, and move on. Life is too short to dwell on what happened. The could’ve, should’ve mentality. Save the “would’ve” for the new more deserving situation. Whether you’re lying to yourself or in the age of social media lying to the people around you, I guess folks have to do what works for them. If you break up today and have another person stepping in tomorrow, who is anyone to judge you? If you’re comfortable with your actions right? A friend told me if she broke up with her guy today and went on a date with another guy tomorrow it wouldn’t mean anything! I had so many questions like, where did that new date guy come from so fast? BLK, Tinder, POF, Bumble, Hinged? How are you able to just smile and “be normal” in another man’s face so quickly after a breakup? Do you have a split personality? If the date goes well, is smashing cool too? Are you ready to go back to condoms that quickly? After the date does the realization of your breakup reenter your frame of thought? Do you have a moment or do you just have that ability to shut down, and switch off all emotions, feelings of caring, love, etc.?
Now call me sentimental! Call me Carl Thomas emotional! Call me a punk, weak whatever! But again, if I were in a real relationship, a long-term relationship, regardless of how it ended, even worst-case scenario she cheated, got pregnant, and sent me to a clinic for a course of antibiotics. Yes, I might absolutely hate the woman in the moment of those revelations being revealed, through her actions, and that shit will hurt deep. But everything won’t just die in that instant. But like I also said each to their own I guess, maybe I need to learn how to flip this switch.
